I sang on stage with Debbie Gibson!

I thought this picture was "blog worthy". YES. It is true. Me and Crecca were on stage singing karaoke with DEBBIE GIBSON!  ::Backflips::

Lets state the facts:

1) It was 80's karaoke night, in a new Karaoke Bar in Time Square.

2) Debbie Gibson was HOSTING karaoke, all night!

3) The only reason why I would go to a bar in Times Square is for Debbie Gibson hosting an 80's karaoke night.

4) I was with my best friend, and karaoke partner-in-crime, Crecca.

5) Debbie Gibson was my first celeb obsession, and my VERY first concert with my friend, Erica!

6) Crecca and I were Hyperventilating to even be in the same ROOM as Debbie!

7) Debbie called us on stage to sing our song. We picked "I love rock and roll." (Of course).

8) She touched my shoulder!!!!!

9) Afterwards she came on-stage and asked if we were Debbie Gibson fans.

10) We squealed something incoherent. At an ear spitting pitch.

11) She asked, "Would you like to sing a song with me?"

12) More squealing.

13) She told us we'd have to learn the original dance moves from the original tour.

14) She taught us the moves to "Shake Your Love."

15) And then we sang back-up to Debbie Gibson. 

16) Crecca and I swore we can now retire as karaoke artists. Our career is complete.

17) Yeah. right. "Only in your dreamsssss."

Ode to SMUT...

Going through some of my old files... I came across this gem. Let's take a trip down memory lane, shall we?

Ode to SMUT 

(Scandalous Mayhem Under Tinseltow)

This scene was written for The S.M.U.T. Show, performed December 2007 - March 2008 at Comix Comedy Club.

Copyright:Andrea Bertola. All Rights Reserved.

Characters: NICOLE RITCHIE, PARIS HILTON, LINDSEY LOHAN, BRITNEY SPEARS AND JESSICA SIMPSON.

Lights up on five hollywood socialites spread across the stage. Each one of them has a tabloid magazine open infront of her face. They each have an oversized purse filled with the "props" needed for this scene.

NICOLE

(Brings magazine down, reveals face)

Red carpet

BRITNEY

(Brings magazine down, reveals face)

Or in magazines

PARIS

(Brings magazine down, reveals face)

We are Hollywood's beauty queens.

JESSICA

(Brings magazine down, reveals face)

You say our looks are all we've got?

LINDSEY

(Brings magazine down, reveals face)

We don't care because...

PARIS

(Toss magazines aside)

"That's hot"!

NICOLE

We're socialites, we live the dream.

LINDSEY

The trends we set become mainstream.

PARIS

From Uggs to Juicy,

BRITNEY

Pinkberry too!

JESSICA

We start the trends we see on YOU.

NICOLE

From Boho chic 

BRITNEY

To trucker hats

LINDSEY

High heels one minute; the next its flats.

 PARIS

Jimmy Choos

NICOLE

(Points to her shirt)

And vintage tees

JESSICA

Sushi for lunch!

ALL

NEVER Chinese.

PARIS

(Show dog in purse)

Small dogs we carry in a purse.

NICOLE

A baby bump is not a curse!

LINDSAY

Blond, brunette, then Blond again--

JESSICA

--Our hair dresser is our best friend.

 Hair extensions down to our waist--

BRITNEY

--Fake hair's a trend we must embrace!

All pull out various phones, text or talk into phone over next section.

LINDSAY

We use Blackberry’s or the iphone

JESSICA

"Girls Wanna Have Fun" as our ringtone!

PARIS

(on blackberry)

We text all day, and text all night—

BRITNEY

"Real" conversations just don't feel right.

NICOLE

 For gossip we love TMZ!

PARIS

I only read the stories 'bout me.

JESSICA

We go on myspace, stalk our dates.

Why is SHE on HIS Top 8?!

LINDSEY

(Walks over to RAPPER GUYS, flirty)

Bed-hopping, boyfriend-swapping you can trade with me.

(RAPPERS do a "take")

BRITNEY

(Pointing to guys in audience)

I fucked him once, 

LINDSEY

I'll fuck him twice.

PARIS

"What’s an STD?"

(They all shrug)

Pause.

NICOLE

We give great head with one demand--

JESSICA

You know your wish is our command.

BRITNEY

Make sure you film us,

PARIS

Blackmail the tape.

 A sex-tape scandal, we can't escape!

NICOLE

(indicate Paris)

One night in Paris, you want a piece?

PARIS

(TO Nicole)

When you bed us, sign a release...

(They all pull a "release" from behind their backs. Hold out to the audience)

BRITNEY

We meet our men at the nightclub.

LINDSEY

We only go where we can snub.

PARIS

Bottle service and V-I-P

All

(Pointedly)

No, you cant sit down with me!

NICOLE

So whateves, I'm such a bitch

I don't care, I'm filthy rich

LINDSEY

O-m-g. I'm such a snob

But that chick needs a good nose job.

PARIS & NICOLE

(indicate Britney)

Fix her cankles and muffin top

JESSICA

 (To both)

Call her doctor, "Chop, chop, chop".

PARIS & NICOLE

(To eachother)

Cat fights with our frienemies

 We declare on message tees.

BRITNEY

Team Aniston

LINDSAY

vs. Team Jolie

NICOLE

Or team Nicole

PARIS

vs. Team Pariee.

BRITNEY

(Puts on huge sunglasses)

To escape the drama we run away

JESSICA

(Puts on huge sunglasses)

Save it for another day.

PARIS

(Puts on huge sunglasses)

To the spa

NICOLE

(Puts on huge sunglasses)

Or to the beach

LINDSEY

 (Puts on huge sunglasses)

Anywhere we can't be reached.

BRITNEY

When we fly its just first class

PARIS (or skinniest girl cast)

Big seats are needed for a little ass.

LINDSEY

We'll travel far for a weekend trip

JESSICA

We only go if the place is hip.

BRITNEY

Maui!

NICOLE

Ibiza!

PARIS

 St.Tropez!

LINDSAY

South beach, Miami is kind of gay.

JESSICA

Paris for shopping, but The French are creeps.

All

(To pump up a NYC Audience)

We love New York, the City never sleeps!!!!

(Applause, hoots, hollers!)

 PARIS

(All take off sunglasses)

At trendy restaurants we see and be seen

 NICOLE

Eat dinner? No way, I'll have a saltine.

LINDSAY

Koi, the Ivy or Mr. Chow.

BRITNEY

The Olive Garden?

PARIS

EW, lowbrow!

NICOLE

Our figures resemble preteens’

We wear size zero, skinny jeans

JESSICA

Diet fads, or the master cleanse

BRITNEY

It makes us shit, so we wear 'Depends'!

(Lifts skirt to reveal Depends)

LINDSAY

We live on coffee from Mr. Bean.

Red bull addicts,

ALL

(A bit crazed))

Need more caffeine!

BRITNEY

A Starbucks run for a photo opt.

NICOLE

We flick off cameras and tell them...

ALL

(Bitchy, half-assed)

"Stop".

PARIS

(posing)

Oh paparazzi, we love you--

JESSICA

(sarcastic, indicating Paris)

--But posing is just so taboo.

LINDSAY

When we get a d-u-i

The public is our alibi.

NICOLE

And when we have our day in court--

PARIS

--We know we'll have our fans support.

BRITNEY

We make headlines at any price.

LINDSAY

The tabloids are our main device.

JESSICA

(Over enthusiastic) 

We love the attention, we live for fame!!!

NICOLE

Gossip is the name of the game.

LINDSAY

So say we're a hoe.

BRITNEY

Call us a slut.

 All

Just keep buying your Celebrity Smut.

BLACKOUT

Sound cue: “Beverly Hills”, Weezer.

The SMUT Show

The S.M.U.T. Show: 
Scandalous Mayhem Under Tinseltown
@ COMIX COMEDY CLUB
NEW YORK CITY, NY

Tickets: $20 in advance, $25 at the door.
212. 524. 2500 for Reservations

NEW YORK, March 3 /PRNewswire/ -- What happens when you mix tabloids +
 sketch comedy? S.M.U.T (Scandalous Mayhem Under Tinseltown) announces its
 red carpet opening night at Comix, Thursday, March 6th, 2008 in an
 unlimited engagement.
 
     Let's face it, celebrity scandal is EVERYWHERE and we're
 hooked-celebrity pregnancies, meltdowns, rehab visits, Hollywood DUIs and
 of course the never ending public fascination to fuel the drama. Previewed
 in December to sold out audiences at Comix, S.M.U.T is a first of its kind
 parody based on celebrity culture that provides the same fix of Hollywood
 gossip in theatre form, with a twist.
 
     S.M.U.T was produced by Ei8ht 22 Productions 

and written by a group of seven NYC twenty and thirty somethings
 obsessed with celebrity culture. The production follows a fast-paced comedy
 sketch style similar to that of Saturday Night Live and each week, the team
 meets to update the show with the very latest developments in the tabloids
 and must-see material. The show features a hugely talented cast including
 Lorraine Bracco's niece Lindsay Bracco, playing the roles of all the usual
 suspects.
 
     The 25 sketches that makeup the show include skits such as: Sex Ed with
 Paris and Nicole, A Moment with the Cruises, Perez Hilton: Gateway to Hell,
 On The Playground-celebrity offspring sharing the woes of having famous
 parents, to name just a few. Musical numbers include "I Think I'm A Clone
 Now", "Oops I f'd Up Again" and "Maternity World".
 
     "I wanted to lure generation Y back to theatre again and what better
 way than through their everyday obsession," explained Steve Shaw, director.
 Writer/Producer Andrea Bertola conceived the idea for the show and
 explained, "We're all obsessed with the unraveling of Hollywood lives! We
 all wake up in the morning and log onto Perez Hilton everyday... so we
 decided to have a little fun and take our obsession to another level."
 
     Tickets are $20 in advance or $25 at the door (plus a 2 drink minimum
 purchase) and can be purchased online at www.comixny.com or by calling 212-
 524-2500. Show times are as follows:
 
     3/6, 3/19, 4/10, 5/1, 5/22 at 8pm. Further dates to be announced.
 

Ode to "SMUT" 

"I hate you, my friend"

Brangelina in "Couple's Therapy"

Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie

Avril Lavigne

Brad Pitt

Brittany Spears

Brittany's famous UMBRELLA attack.

Tom Cruise and Suri

Gwen Stafani and Perez Hilton

Back Stage!